In my last post, we looked at what self esteem is and how it can effect relationships. I left you with an exercise to try. I wonder how many of you actually did it or at least tried? Some of us would find that exercise very difficult and maybe even impossible right now. That’s okay. No worries. This is not a test! It is an information piece with some ideas for improving self esteem. In this post, I want to take a deeper dive into low self esteem and how it might show up in our lives. The diagram above is an excellent visual of what low self esteem looks like. Try to think about each of the sections honestly. How is self esteem affecting your life? Do you need to do some work on it? I know I still apologize a lot, but I’m seeing improvement in this area. Asserting myself, at times, is difficult. I just don’t seem to have the energy I need to maintain assertiveness for long periods of time. Given a lengthy situation, I will often give in to other people. I can definitely see myself improving in this area. I’m still struggling with being perfect; although, I am more apt to laugh at myself more often now than I used to. Negative self talk–putting myself down–comes, but leaves much quicker than it once did. At one time, I felt I had to please everyone. You can imagine how difficult that would be with so many different perceptions of things in this world, it is dam near impossible to please everyone, but boy did I try–no wonder I failed. But I didn’t look at it that way. I was a failure–period! It seemed I also failed at perfection. I don’t know why I thought that I had to be better than everyone else but I did. I tried–again and again–I still tried. I won awards at my two major workplaces and I wondered why? How? I thought things like: I don’t deserve this; how did this come about; there couldn’t have been any others who were nominated; etc.. I had two major breakdowns in my life because I won awards that I didn’t think I deserved. I am bad. People don’t really know me. How am I pulling the wool over everybody’s eyes? Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you know what I’m talking about. I know, now, I wasn’t alone with these thoughts. I’ve met others who have struggled as well. And you’ve now met me! I’m okay really. LOL. And so are you, because you’re reading this and you’re going to get yourself some help and follow some of the worksheets that I’m going to put a link to. We will both be okay. We are okay now! Let’s work from there.
Here is the link to a Self Esteem Workbook. If you can, do the exercises! If you’re struggling, try and do a little bit each day. Set an alarm for 5 minutes, even, and if you still want to go on after that, keep going! Then try for 10 minutes or even 6. Baby steps at least move you forward. You can DO this! But it’s okay if you are struggling to manage even a little bit. The time will come. Maybe, right now, you could go to the site and bookmark it. That’s the first thing I did.
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Esteem
Try and follow the Modules in order as there are important exercises in each one and they are meant to be done sequentially. Kudo’s to you for getting this far!
Life's Lessons and Mental Health 