Full Force in the Wilderness

It is a wise human that recognizes truth comes in many forms and perspectives. It is a dull one who experiences their own truth as the only way.

Judgment, lies, hate. I like people who allow others to make mistakes. I like people who can admit that they are wrong. I also like people who passionately speak their truth. I’m drawn to this type of human being so this is who I aspire to be. I believe judgment is best left to the Universe because, as humans, I don’t believe we have the capacity nor the right to FORCE our beliefs on others. My aspiration, my truth. It just makes sense to me that if I want people to allow me my truth then I have to allow them theirs.

So, why do I believe this and where do I draw my own line on others? I think that history proves passing judgment on others is where conflict begins. War, fear, hate and superiority have no place in my life except to prove to me that these ‘aspirations’ cause unrest between individuals and groups. If it is your intent to pass judgment on others, then it had better be because others are passing judgment on you. Even that line should not be crossed lightly, because where does it end? It just keeps piling up—line after line is crossed. Back and forth–first one bomb and then another in retaliation. 

Over the last while, I’ve been examining love and how it relates to my life. I’ve come to understand that there are degrees of love. The way we love our partners is different to the way we love our children and the way we love our acquaintances is different from the way we love our closer friends and family. Some people believe we can both hate and love someone at the same time. I believe we might dislike their actions and form boundaries for ourselves around those and I believe real love always includes boundaries. They become a mainstay of practicing love. Without boundaries, love becomes about us instead of about others. We need to be loved ourselves so we forgo boundaries in order to maintain that perceived love. It meets our needs rather than other people’s. Boundaries actually help others learn to set their own. Love needs to be about others not ourselves. It isn’t about being loved back–that would not be real. If we ask ourselves ‘am I doing this because I am afraid of losing someone?’, it is about us, not them. Modeling the use of boundaries for our loved ones, gives them the freedom to set their own, which, I believe, is a necessary part of offering love to others.

I honestly don’t think I’m ready to live in the wilderness full time. I don’t think I’ve found enough like-minded people to feel safe. Maybe being in the wilderness, for me, right now, is about listening. Reading and writing instead of speaking. I suppose I am acting out of fear to take this stance; I’m afraid of REALLY being alone. That is what I need to focus on right now–the fear of standing alone because that, really, is what the wilderness is all about. Being brave enough to speak my truth regardless of the support I get for it. It disappoints me to think this way. I truly believe that the wilderness is a sacred place and the courage it takes to live and breathe in it is a lofty endeavour. Who knows, possibly the steps I’ve taken up until this point in my life have actually prepared me for standing alone. Maybe my wilderness is just a small leap instead of a giant one. Future actions and BLOGS might take me there regardless of my fear. My thoughts are there already; my actions just need to follow. 

The Wilderness is not for the faint of heart. When I allow my actions to be dictated by the reactions of others, I am not ‘braving the wilderness’; I am pleasing others. This is, right now, what I need to remove myself from. To be truly free, I need to walk away from the control I allow others to have over me. I need to remove myself from judgment, criticism and supremacy over both myself and others. This is MY wilderness. I need to embrace it with my whole heart and live within it. I don’t believe for an instant that this is an overnight endeavour; it is drawn-out over time; it is momentary; but, it is inevitable–at least for me. Non-judgment, truth, love.

peace balance empathy