Comparison and Judgment

I think we could spend our whole lives comparing ourselves to others but it will really get us nowhere but into resentment. When we make comparisons, we are making more out of what we do or more out of what someone else is doing. In reality, we are all doing what we can to live our lives as honestly as we can. It may seem to us that others are doing better things than we are or that we are doing better things than others but that is not usually the case. Most people are doing the best they can with the knowledge of themselves they have. How deep a person delves into themselves may be felt on a different scale, but that doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else. If you tell yourself that you are (better than someone else) you are making a judgment based on your own knowledge of that person. I’m not sure if this is all making sense but I truly believe that people do the best they can with what they’ve got. Who sets out to be poorer than someone else, or less than what they are? Do you? I doubt it. Most people want to be the best they can be. Sticking ourselves into a line from bad to great, and placing other people onto that line also, is judgment. Plain and simple. 

First of all, who are we to make that call? How do we honestly know what others are thinking unless, of course, they tell us. And even then, do we have a right to judge what they are doing? We might have the right to set our own boundaries with another person because of their actions or even their thoughts but do we have a right to judge? That’s a big negative for me. What I think about what someone else is doing or saying means I have the right to impose boundaries with that person but to judge them? I think not—for myself, anyway—because they are only responding to the perception of their own reality. Does this mean I’m completely non-judgmental? There’s another big negative for me, personally. I catch myself judging all the time! I’m trying to get a handle on it but it is so difficult, I find. In a world of comparisons and competition, how can one not be judgmental? Remember self-criticism can come into play here as well.

When we judge ourselves negatively by comparing our journey to someone elses and feeling as if we are failing, we are squandering our creativity and abundance in life. But what about judging others badly in comparison to us. I’m doing so much better than he/she is. Does this consume our own creativity also? I think it squanders our minds and our personal journeys. So, what about pride, then? What about feeling good about what you are accomplishing and hoping beyond hope that you are doing it well? When it comes to mental health, I believe these thoughts and feelings are justified. We need to feel good about what we are doing. We need to take pride in our successes. Pride is a difficult feeling for me. I think growing up in my family that pride was frowned upon as a sin. I have trouble taking pride in my work and applying it to my life. And too many compliments embarrass me, shame me. And yet, I can bask in them underneath all that shame; maybe that’s why I’m shamed in the first place. Just trying to figure shit out around shame and pride, for me, is a sensitive topic.

I think what it all comes down to is that judging myself and others is something I want to eliminate from my life. I don’t want to be judgmental. I want to be understanding and compassionate towards myself and others. And I want to try and live a life without comparisons. Not an easy task I have before me. But nobody ever said life was easy. It’s not. And living your best life, an authentic life means being okay with all the ups and downs, the heartaches and joyfulness, the light and the dark. All the polar opposites we come up against need to be accepted. And those we don’t understand? Actions we don’t agree with? Judgments made in darkness? Comparisons that consume our creativity? I guess we build boundaries, in some cases, and develop battle scars in others. But we keep on keeping on, trying to be our best selves in a world that tries its best to beat us down. Hey world! Not me! You won’t get me!

peace balance empathy

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