Worried Sick

I am so sick of the worry in my life. It runs rampant in my mind and there seems no end to where it can take me. It’s as if it is infiltrating my entire being. My whole body feels it’s presence. And for what? Absolutely nothing! When I push to check it out, there is no basis for my fear. Why is it even there? I have to find a way to let it go. I guess, if I practice what I preach, I need to first accept it. Sit with it. To sit with it and think curiously, I wonder where it comes from? Trying to be non-judgmental is incredibly difficult. I want to chastise it, beat it up, yell at myself about it. I feel the need to stuff it under something so it can never come out. I internalize and beat myself up for having this incredibly mind consuming angst. But I will try to sit with it and curiously explore its painful existence.

Why are you here? How did you come about? Where do I hold you in my body? What is your purpose? When did you pop up in my life? Not easy questions to answer and maybe I can’t delve into these without some help from a resource or my therapist who might be able to guide my exploration. I think I will do some research to help me navigate this analysis. The first step I will take will be to work through the worry resource from the CCI resources–they can be found in the menu at the top of my blog for those of you who also struggle with worry. 

For now, I am going to set my worries aside. I am going to do what I can to accept them as a part of my life right now. I’m not going to ignore their existence, I am merely postponing the exploration until another time when I can concentrate and really give them my undivided attention. Hopefully later this afternoon around 1:00 pm. There, I’ve set a worry time! I need to be disciplined enough to make sure I really do it because I’m pretty sick of how it is taking over my life. If you’re finding worry to be taking up space in your mind, maybe it’s time to really explore and navigate around it, non-judgmentally.

Here is the link to the worry resource from CCI:

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination

peace balance empathy

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