Neck Deep in the Wilderness

They whispered to her, “You can’t withstand the storm”. She whispered back, “I am the storm”. Jake Remmington

Being neck deep in the wilderness isn’t about drowning–not yet–but it is pretty damn close to living on the edge. I’m not talking about physical danger; I’m talking about emotional reckoning. A physiological response, we need to get curious about. The first story you tell yourself, reveals everything you need to explore. Focus on the story you’re telling yourself about the situation. This is the answer to better communication and understanding of yourself and others. When we can reveal our stories to each other in an honest and gentle way, we open the lines of communication between us.

When listening to each other, find out what a person’s intent is in relation to their words and actions–we need to know this to make good decisions about how we’re going to react to them. Guessing only reflects our own ignorance. We can’t really know another person’s intent or story without asking curiously about it. It’s important to remain curious and not judgmental. It’s like an investigation into each other’s honest thoughts, fears and desires.

Revealing your story and intentions brings you into the wilderness because you are in a vulnerable position, but this vulnerability is what makes you you! If we are honest, curious and non-judgmental, I don’t think we stand alone in the wilderness for long before others are there with us. The vulnerability we feel while being authentic actually sets us free. It brings our deepest desires and conflicts into the open where we can sort through the story we are telling ourselves and explore it curiously.

I want to share my story and I’m sure I will do that over the winter months. I want to be open and honest and live my life fearlessly. That is freedom. It doesn’t mean I don’t listen. In actual fact, it means I can listen more intently and curiously without the fear of your story overwhelming me. I believe that in sharing my stories, I can help others share there’s. If I am vulnerable I can curiously explore your vulnerability also without the fear of criticism that keeps us silent in the first place.

Will I care what people think? I will care what SOME people think because I respect their opinion and it will keep me honest. But I can’t care what everyone thinks, no, because not everyone is going to be open and honest with me. I will, though, have a responsibility to understand people who are suffering from a “Disease to Please” as it is a difficult predicament to be in, no matter which end you are on–-the receiving or the giving. Taking that risk of honesty puts me in the driver’s seat of my own story and gives me the capacity to listen openly and freely to YOURS. 

In this way, curiosity takes the place of vulnerability and shame. When we feel vulnerable and shamed, check out the facts and get curious as to what is going on inside you and others. Ask questions for clarity–of ourselves and others–and help solve the adversity between us and within us. Compassion draws us closer to each other and ourselves as we navigate the deepness of our truth and wisdom.

In conclusion, the Wilderness is our vulnerable selves out in the world. Those parts we hide because of our fear of criticism? We send them out into the universe and converse about them because remaining silent is what causes our humanity to disappear. Our imperfections and inadequacies come into the light and we have the brave opportunity to change our reactions and judgment of ourselves and others. The wilderness, although frightening, is where we discover the freedom to be who we really are in an ever-changing world. We can begin to adjust our reactions in the light of our own self-actualization. Compassion and curiosity guide us through all aspects of our lives and a nonjudgmental attitude clears the way for understanding and empathy, and the Wilderness? Despite the trepidation of living there, becomes the safest place to be.